All Those Years Ago
by Crimson Phantasm
Summary: It was all a dream. Everything. She wanted to die. A certain ‘nonexisting’ monk keeps her alive through the hardship. MirKag oneshot


InuYasha

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Only the plot.

Summary: It was all a dream. Everything. She wanted to die. A certain 'non-existing' monk keeps her alive through the hardship.

Rated-T

Author's note: A little gothic side to Kagome, but…yet another sad fic for you. Enjoy everybody.

* * *

_It was not everyday that he would hold me. That he would wrap his arms around me; embrace me and tell me that everything was alright. He taught me what was right and wrong… he taught me to stay strong._

_He'd kiss me, he'd love me. He would whisper in my ear, he'd sing me to sleep. He was my dream catcher to my nightmares, the desolation I had to go through in my dreams. A comforted smile was all I needed for my day. God, the essence of simplicity. Just one song, just one kiss._

_How could it not exist?_

_She wanted to die. Kagome was on a brink to self destruction._

Kagome would remember. InuYasha may have protected her physically, Miroku protected her emotions. She felt like a stupid little girl. Before the turn of tidings, he had told her not to forget him. But now that he's nonexistent, what is there to forget? Where is a place to hide to when the present world around her is bleak?

Why! How could he, how could they all be a dream? She felt pain from that era, she felt the heat of the sun in that era, she breathed fresh air… and now it's all false?

Miroku's touch felt real. That cursed touch.

His lips were warm, and that had to be real. His embrace was just too binding to consider calling it a dream. The dream was reality, the reality was a dream.

She felt dreary; she needed to be held by him. Lie upon his chest and count the number of heartbeats he had left before the void swallows him whole. After all, it wouldn't be long. How was there no such thing as InuYasha? Kikyou? Sango? Sesshoumaru? Kouga? Bankotsu? Naraku? Shippo?

Where was she?

Miroku had once told her, that is was hard to let go of the past, but someday you have to drop it all on the line and move it to better future. What if--- what if this is what he meant? What if he knew? Even if he was nonexistent, Miroku was actually real, Kagome created him.

All of the demons and peasants of the Sengoku, she created them all.

What he meant, was that the Bone Eater's Well was the dimension to the past, and now that she couldn't go back, she'd have to move on to the future, aka modern Tokyo. But how could she let go? The past made her, every fucking bit of it.

_Where is the sign Miroku? Just show me a sign. Let me know you are really there. Let me know you care._

Fact of the matter is, that he was gone, say physically but not emotionally, just like Miroku had planned out for her in the first place. Perhaps this is what he meant. And it is this truth that keeps her alive. She promised him not to let go, but now when it's hanging by a mere thread, it may seem futile.

That smile loomed and locked within her mind. She had to stay alive, _to keep him and everyone else alive._

_She remembered the times when she would fall, Miroku would always offer his hand to grip her. Always there to make her feel like Kagome. He wanted to keep her smile alive, not the other way around._

Had the houshi been overlooked? In the early times, she'd only care about InuYasha, about Kikyo. Of all the guys in the feudal era, she overlooked him. At first glance, he seemed like a careless delinquent. He wasn't careless, he showed her time and time again that she, or anyone else comes first. He'd go through extreme measures just to please her. Ruin his monkish reputation for her. He pillaged the finest mansion in town, and offered her real food and shelter. Everyone else was upset, but Kagome always gave a smile and let it slide.

After all, he was Miroku.

A typical human being. A righteous being.

Kagome regretted the times she had been a brat, a careless child who only wanted InuYasha's love. The times where she would throw Miroku's consoling out the window. Every word spoken to her in private was helpful.

Had he been the one?

Was her path to a relationship thrown off course?

Kagome realized this. She knew the monk's time was drawing to a close, and suffice to say, Naraku hadn't been seen in six months. Mushin already pointed out he had a year or so left in his humble life.

His curse was never broken. And her pussyfooting only made it a worsened burden.

The final days, in which she finally understood the monk thoroughly and completely, she would run to him all the time. Their innuendoes would be sworn to secrecy from the rest of the world as they kissed endlessly upon the grass. She never knew what came over her to change courses so suddenly. Maybe she needed attention… maybe she needed it right away.

She was still the brat. When she couldn't get what she wanted from InuYasha, she quickly crawled all over Miroku. Kagome was sick of InuYasha's games. No man is perfect, every man has his flaws. Brain, brawn, looks---

It didn't matter anymore. She had Miroku for now, and that was all that mattered. He would place her down, at any setting and implant kisses upon every part of her body. She would look into his amethyst eyes as they continued their intimacy.

It was all gone. Just like that. But what if this was a nightmare?

Would Miroku sing it away?

Would he embrace her?

Would they both vanish together in some sort of haven?

_Kagome clenched her fists trying to hold back her tears. God, did it hurt. After brutal thoughts of suicide, she entered the bathtub and turned the faucet on. She was stripped bare, and the only thing she could think about was him. When the water filled the tub, she entered trying her hardest not to drown herself. In the hot waters, in the steaming room she slept. When she awoke, Miroku's head was upon her chest. Kagome choked and held him close. Just one last time._

_She awoke once more. It was assumed to be a dream, but oddly enough, Miroku's prayer beads that he kept upon his cursed Wind tunnel, was placed around her neck. In her fist was another necklace, this time InuYasha's. _

_Kagome gave a soft whimper, but she felt someone's hand touch her cheek to wipe away a stray tear. Since then, she finally understood. _

She decided to go to school the next day. Her role as a normal schoolgirl was played out. Kagome Higurashi, age 15, High School student. As she was walking to school, she felt a relief that she had never felt before. A relief that everything was going to be okay.

When she entered the building, there were teens scurrying about to get to class. Kagome let out a heavy sigh.

Something had startled her; a hand was placed upon her shoulder.

"Hello, are you Kagome?"

_Miroku?_

He had the same ponytail, the same expressions, and the same gestures. He talked like Miroku; his earrings looked like Miroku's…

"I'm a new student here. I can't put my finger on it, but I know you…"

Kagome gasped, "Miroku--- you are alive?"

"Miroku? No, no, you can call me Miroku if you like, but Kagetoki Houshi is my name."

"Well---"

"Well---"

"I guess I'm going to be in your class, so, shall we go Kagome?" He smiled that Miroku smile. Kagome was about to tear up again.

"Yea… let's go." She managed to speak to him.

End


End file.
